“That's really strange. I'm sure I was born in Hennipen county. Please Check again.”
“OK, But I am quite certain that there is no record for a 'Betty Kelly' born on March 4, 1924."
For some odd reason, she's not sure why, she thought, "Perhaps its under my mother’s maiden name, Wentworth.”
"Check Betty Wentworth," she said to the clerk. “Yes, there is an entry for a Betty Allison Wentworth on that date.”

Betty stared at the certificate in disbelief. There was no father listed on her birth certificate. She was overwhelmed by the implications. Is it possible her parents had been lying to her for nearly sixty years. Imagine being 58 and discovering that your father may not really be your father. At best, Erling Eide was her father, but her parents weren't married at the time of her birth. But that didn't make sense, since her parents were married in 1923, or were they?

In shock, she returned home to digest what she had discovered. It didn't make any sense. If her parents had been married in 1923, how could her father's name be missing on her birth certificate? Why was her mother's name listed as Wentworth? Why was her mother's home address listed as Willow City, North Dakota? And, WHY WAS SHE BORN IN THE BETHANY HOME FOR UNWED MOTHERS? Clearly her mother was not married at the time of her birth. She wanted to talk to her parents, but she needed one more piece of information. She went back downtown to the county office buildings to request a copy of her parent's marriage license.

Well, people lie, but public records rarely do. She new the drill; she knew the clerk. "I would like a copy of the marriage license for Erling and Mildred Eide, married on May 11, 1923." As she expected, the clerk responded, "I am sorry but we have no record under that name for that date." “Try 1924.” Again, nothing. “Try 1925.” There it was, in crushing reality. Her parents were married May 11, 1925, a full fourteen months after she was born and two years after Mildred became pregnant in June of 1923. Mildred would have been 17 at the time.

If Erling was her father, wouldn't he have married Mildred as soon as she found out she was pregnant, a full two years earlier than the birth date? At a minimum, wouldn't he have had his name listed as the father? During her entire life, Betty never had the slightest doubted that Erling was her father. He had been her father in every way, except as she now feared, biologically.

Note: A recent check of the public records August 1, 2007 uncovered an Applicaton for Marriage License, made the day of their marriage on May 11, 1925. For some reason, Erling specified his age as 22. We know his age was 19, the same as Mildred's. He would not turn 20 until September of 1925. This is the second time we know Erling lied about his age. The first was when he enlisted in the Army at age 16.

Knowing what she now knew, it was still hard to reconcile these new facts with the facts of her life. Just ten years earlier in 1973, her parents had celebrated, to much fanfare, their 50th wedding anniversay. They rented a hall, posted announcements in the newspaper, and had commemorative napkins printed. This was a major milestone in their lives. The only problems is, it was a façade. They were not married in 1923, but rather in 1925. They even received congratulatory letters from Governor Anderson and Senator Humphrey. Betty was numbed by the whole experience and decided to say nothing over the Christmas holidays, but in January of 1983, she summoned the courage to confront her parents, how 77 years old and living in an apartment in Brooklyn Center. The facts were too strong and the pain too great to not know the truth. With much dread, Betty went to her parent's apartment seeking an explanation. The encounter was less than satisfatory and left a wound in her heart that would never be healed. When confronted with the facts that she had discovered, her parents withdrew to Erling's bedroom to have a private consultation. When they emerged, they said, "Yes, what you have discovered is true. We were not married at the time you were born, and yes, we lied about the date of our marriage. But that doesn't change the fact that you are our daughter, and we love you. And that is what is important." Mildred then said, "Your father and I agreed many years ago that we would not divulge the circumstances of your birth or discuss it with anyone." And, with finality in her voice, she concluded, "And, we are not going to discuss it now. Nothing changes the fact that you are our daughter or how you were raised." That was that. Nothing more was said.

The ache in her heart was profound, but what could she do or say? She had always loved her father and felt his love for her. How could she challenge him now, at this stage in his life, after he had done so much for her. Knowing that he was probably not her biological father, made the love and affection he had shown her over the years all the more meaningful. No, as much as she wanted to, she could could not challenge him now.

Erling and Mildred eventually signed a legal document, at Betty's request, legitimizing her birth. Her daughter Jennifer notarized it. The process is called “legitimation.” Legitimation is the formal legal process by which the parents of a child born out of wedlock, can legitimize the birth of a child. She did receive a new birth certificate stating Erling was her father, but it was indeed an empty victory. A chasm had formed that would never be closed, even with the death of both her parents. Betty got her new birth certificate legitimizing her birth, but she never fully came to grips with the fact that her parents had decieved her for so many years. She herself died with the disappointment that the issue never had been resolved. On the back of her new birth certificate, she wrote,

"This is the copy that is now on file. Mother and Dad signed and Jennifer witnessed. Attached is the true birth certificate."

She made certain that her daughter Jennifer had copies of these documents for future reference.

One person who surely knew the truth was Eunice Beams (nee Wentworth), formerly Eunice Mitchell. Eunice, Mildred’s older sister by five years, and her first husband, Robert Mitchell, served as witnesses for the marriage between Erling and Mildred. Their names are clearly evident on the marriage license. Mildred had left her home in Willow City, North Dakota to come to live with or to visit her sister Eunice in Minneapolis. Family folklore always spoke of Mildred coming to the big city of Minneapolis for fun and adventure. Maybe what really happened is that she got pregnant back home in Willow City and was sent to live with her sister in Minneapolis while she had a baby. Maybe she didn't live with her sister at all, but rather lived at the home for unwed mothers. Maybe she had intended to give the baby up for adoption but she met Erling, who showered her with love and encouraged her to keep her baby. One can only conjecture. The only thing we know for sure is that the bond between Erling and Betty was the bond of a father and a daughter.

Betty was born in Bethany Home for unwed mothers. See below. How long did Mildred remain in Bethany? Where else did she live? Who did she live with? What involvement did the rest of her family have? When did Mildred first come to Minneapolis? Did she finish high school? When did she meet Erling? How did they meet?

It is sad and ironic that Betty Kelly was both born and died in an institutional setting, both institutions with the name Bethany. She had a full and rich life in between, and this is the beginning of a story about her life.

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Bethany Home for Unwed Mothers

The following paragraphs are taken from a journal written by Abby G. Mendenhall in 1900 and published by the Quaker Press.

[From Mendenhall, Abby G. Some Extracts from the Personal Diary of Mrs. R. J. Mendenhall. No publication data; probably Minneapolis, for private distribution, ca. 1900.]Edith Jones Library, Minneapolis Friends Meeting.

http://www.qhpress.org/quakerpages/qwhp/bethany.htm

When a girl enters Bethany Home she pledges herself to remain a year. The society has been both criticized and commended for this provision. Rescue workers say it does not take a year to convert a girl. That is true, but it does take a year to establish principles and character that will make her strong enough to stand alone when she leaves the Home. There are no bolts and bars and the front door stands unlatched so that it would be an easy matter for an inmate who ad changed her mind to walk deliberately down the front stairs and out of the door without anyone knowing anything about it. But that is not the way they prefer to do. The girl who has changed her mind waits until night and then climbs out a window and over the back fence and walks to town. Fortunately, such cases are rare, and the majority of the inmates realize the object of the society is not to make prisoners of them, but to aid them to live a better life in the future than they have in the past.

Many sensational and interesting cases come to the home, which, told without any exaggeration and bound in yellow, would find ready sale. But the board keeps these confidences [P 526] sacredly, and if its advice is followed the story of each inmate is kept to herself. While it is necessary for the members of the board to know the real name of each girl, they suggest and advise that a temporary name be chosen during the stay in the home, so that when the year is over and the girl goes out into the world again, she drops all connection with those whom she has met there. Consequently there is a preponderance of Mary Browns and Jane Smiths and Emma Larsons. But it is a wise suggestion, and has been of untold benefit.

When the girls leave they must decide whether they will take their babies with them or leave them at the home for adoption. In the former case the directors try to find a home in the country where they can keep their children with them. If that is impossible, they furnish the address of a woman who will care for her children for a reasonable sum and provide a situation in which the money can be earned. Where the girl goes into the country the next thing the director very often hears of is that she is going to marry an honest farmer and many women who have learned their first lessons of right and wrong in Bethany Home are today presiding over comfortable farmhouses, not only in Minnesota but in other states.

A complete list of persons burried in the Mission Township Cemetery is available at

http://ftp.rootsweb.com/pub/usgenweb/mn/crowwing/cemeteries/missionc.txt
http://www.rootsweb.com/~cemetery/minnesota/crowwing.htm

Her Father's story | Betty's Family | Family Tree